yup im writing a post again. which means i really really need to relieve something. im kinda proud for being able to hold my tears back for so long. i only allowed myself to let off ONCE. and i've told myself NO. you cant cry anymore. i've grown up, havent i? :) is it something worth celebrating? woohoo shld i pop champagne ?! i think im going crazy. despite my tolerance, im not at all happy. this feeling sucks. everything's cramping up inside. sometimes i feel like a balloon filling up and gna burst anytime. sometimes i really wna give up. just cry. what's wrong with it right. but i think i shldnt be such a crybaby anymore. i can be indifferent to anything, but one. and this one affects me fatally. be strong. BE STRONG! who can i turn to. who can i rely on. i hate it when i've tried everything and nth works !!! i hate it when there's nth i can do. i hate to WAIT. i hate the uneasiness. i hate the tears. i hate the useless feeling. i hate the wrong timing. sometimes i laugh so hard in sch the moment i stop i feel like crying. i try to feel happy but night is the longest. i hope i can pop a bottle of pills and sleep for 2 weeks without it endangering my life. arghhhhhhhhhh im gna collapse soon :'( and there's nth i can do. i shall just cry on my blog :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( freak. seeing this emoticon makes me wna cry. FRUCK UP